Sober Twenties: Half a Decade without Alcohol

Today is my 5th year as a sober twenty something. How fucking epic.

To be honest, I never thought much about addiction.

I mean, I smoked a pack of cigarettes a day for eight years straight, relied on caffeine for survival, have had binge eating disorder for as long as I can remember (that’s a real thing, swear) and have woken up in dozens of stranger’s beds – the norm.

Annnd, I guess I’ve fallen into a tree on acid, seen a lot of sunrises and had the time of my fucking life. Maaaybe I’ve passed out in pile of flees, tried all of the colored pills and hurt a lot of people. I know that I’ve put myself in danger, disrespected my body and hated myself when the high wore off.

Here’s the thing. I’m not hung up on the details of addiction. I’m not interested in symptoms or labels or the cure. I’m not interested in living in the past or dwelling on the things I’ve done. I’m not interested in guilt or blame or shame.

What I’m interested in is positive radical change.

I’m interested in a life that feels good. I’m interested in waking up with wild excitement. I’m interested in living with explosive gratitude. I’m interested in creative exploration, expansion and relentless curiosity. I’m interested in passion, fire and soul explosions. I’m interested in seeing, feeling and experiencing life with a clear mind and a wide open heart.

The truth is, sobriety is liberating. It allows you to live big and process fully. It guts you, tears open wounds and makes you more than a little vulnerable, but that’s the path to freedom. It puts the demons in the mirror and reminds you that the work is never done. Most of all, it creates space for new stories to blossom.

I don’t believe in settling for anything less than a beautiful life.

I choose lucid living. I choose sunshine. I choose standing up, stepping up and speaking out. I choose holy sex and sacred connections. I choose asking for what you truly want, and knowing that you deserve it. I choose wholeness. I choose honesty, even when it hurts. I choose compassion. I choose living the life of your fucking dreams. I choose me.

Sobriety is about total surrender, stripping down and showing the fuck up. 5 years ago, I woke up and decided to show up for life with guts and love. I may look back, I may look forward, but I’ll always remain present. Radically, honestly, blissfully here, now.

How sublime.