What a Decade Will Teach You About Body Image
What can a decade teach you about body image? Everything.
At twenty years old I was 105 pounds (I’m 5’ 1” by the way). With a diet of coffee and cigarettes, and a brief bout of bulimia, I had recently lost my freshman 10 and was settling into life as a skinny bitch.
I remember wearing low rise skinny jeans and not knowing where to position the waist on my boyish, wannabe hips. My skirts would slide down to crotch height and my once snug fitting clothes became loose and billowy on my miniature body.
That was my first period of noticeable weight fluctuation – 10 pounds is a major adjustment for someone of my height and frame. I came back from a year abroad and the first words from my friends mouths were “Wow, you’re so tiny.” Although, looking back, I think the comments were more of an observation than a compliment. Kind of like “Oh, your hair has gotten long” or “You’re wearing yellow today.”
My family had the hardest time adapting to the new me. Years later, after gaining the weight back – and then some – the truth came out. “You know, you didn’t look healthy back then” or “Being that skinny doesn’t suit you.” Which, by the way, is a form of body shaming. Telling someone they’re too thin is just as hurtful as telling them they’re too fat.
I recently shared a photo of myself from my size 0 days. I didn’t think much about body image back then. I mean, I was happy with my body, but I took it for granted. Even at 105 pounds, I would have chosen to be leaner, toner, tighter.
Funny. We’re never happy with what we’ve got.
Nine years and 30 pounds later, at a solid 135 and size 6+, I’ve witnessed my body in every form. Over the years to follow my smallest days, I quit smoking, found yoga, discovered my strength, started running, worked out like crazy, battled food addiction and explored my body like never before. I’ve been skinny, tiny, small, round, thick, chubby, muscular, strong and everything in between.
My cheeks grew, my booty grew, my belly grew. If life were a dressing room, I’ve tried it all on. A lot can happen over the course of several years. Women’s bodies change. Our boobs sag, our hips expand, our thighs get thick and our arms get fluffy.
It’s all part of the feminine cycle.
The truth is, as females, our hormones shift, life circumstances shift, our priorities and desires shift. If I’ve learned anything from shapeshifting like crazy, it’s that we’re constantly changing. Growing. Evolving. Expanding. Morphing. Transforming. Blossoming.
We’re always going to want to be a different version of ourselves, it’s human nature. Here’s what I have so say about our societal obsession with body image: enough. Chronic criticism is exhausting. Let’s give ourselves a break from the negative self talk and choose love, instead.
You are enough.
Our skin, bones, freckles, moles, cellulite, asymmetry, body hair, toes. It’s all part of the package. Beauty is a state of mind. You are woman. You are beautiful, exactly as you are. Let me hear you roar.